Word Count: 294
My phone rings, it’s my mom; I was greeted with a soft-spoken, solemn voice. She asks what my plans are for the night, not a usual question from my mom. I immediately ask what’s wrong? Anxiously awaiting her response, I stop dead in my tracks to hear her voice cracking with tears saying, "They don’t think grampy is going to make it to the weekend". I collapse to the ground, drop my phone, and burst into tears. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. My grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer the previous year, but last I heard he was doing alright. I was confused, lost, and numb. My grampy: the man I idolize, adore, and love with all my heart, being taken away from me with just one phone call.
After the agonizing 4-hour ride home, we arrived at my grandparent’s house filled with relatives, and then there he was…lying in a hospital bed where his La-Z-boy recliner usually is. He looks frail, gray, and sad; far from the lively smile, caring eyes, and jolly beer belly I am used to seeing. My body was weighed down with pain and anger. I went up to him and held his hand, he looks at me and in his scratchy, broken voice says, "my Ashley nickel…I love you". He then continues to keep saying he wants to go home. It wasn’t until later when we realized what he really meant…he was ready to go home with God. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, he was a recovered alcoholic and smoked for over 50 years, but God was still there for him, waiting with open arms. I learned how important faith is and how influential it can be in a person’s life.
Point: People make mistakes in their lives, but if you keep your faith close to you, then God will take care of you when it matters most.
Sorry this is later than noon, I had to work all weekend, i finally got a break, but anyway, I think thie beginning is much better now that you took out the part about your grandfather. As i told you in class, I really like the way your story has me guessing what could the phone call have been about and I also like how the theme is consistant with your other assignments. It really shows how important your grandfather is to you! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI really like it, i think that the way you lead us to the end of the story is great too. The point you have is a very good one too. Good job :-)
ReplyDeleteI think your story is perfect with the change to your first line.
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